Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Bringing back the radio star

Why is it that you occasionally hear a song that you’ve not heard in several years and then it seems as though you hear it all the time? I realize that current songs are on ‘heavy’ and ‘light rotation’ (volunteering at the radio station in college pays off after all!) and there are always a few random DJ choices/requests that are thrown in the mix.

Then there’s what my brothers and I call ‘five year rotation’ where it seems a song will be played again fairly frequently about 5 years after it first came out. I’m not sure if this is intentional (that volunteering only got me so far) or because someone hears the song and then remembers it and decides to request it, thus repeating the same cycle so it stays around for a few weeks.

Sometimes there is a song that isn’t in any kind of rotation, and yet you seem to hear it frequently enough to notice. On the radio; on someone's mix cd; on random online streaming; in an ad, etc. I often wonder if this is coincidence or if maybe I should listen to what is trying to be conveyed to me. One of my roommates frequently likes to remind me: “You know, for someone so logical you are extremely superstitious”. While she was saying this directly in regards to my extreme sports-watching rituals I think it also has application in this instance.

It is said that the universe will tell you what you need to know, if you take the time to listen. How do I know if I’m listening or just manifesting something inside myself that thinks I am being told something? Or is that the same thing?

Song of the Day: Desperado - The Eagles

Monday, February 25, 2008

Don't I know you from the cinematographer's party?


I love the Oscar's.

I really do.

Deep inside I want to be able to dislike them and say: I won't watch them, I don't care who wins, it's just a bunch of self-righteous Hollywood-ites celebrating themselves. While some of this may be true, I always watch them anyway.

What allows me to submit myself to the consciousness of popular viewership is not the outfits, or the stars (I still don't give a crap about them) or the red carpet or the after parties. It's the stories. The movies themselves. I love to watch and learn about new movies; about movies I might never watch otherwise; about movies past I have vaguely heard of and want to watch; about movies I have watched in the past year and loved or hated.

Story-telling in its various forms have been essential to the culture of mankind. Even today we still know, and re-tell, and re-read stories Homer wrote in Ancient Greece. Even before then there were vast oral traditions and stories were told from person to person, generation to generation.

Movies are merely stories that capitalize on new media that allows a story-teller to reach many people. The intricacies of telling this story - from the lighting to the actors to the script all work together to create art that is beyond the story itself.

Movies have the ability to transport us somewhere else. They have us believe in their constructed reality and through that reality we have a shared experience with other viewers. While all movies are created to entertain, some are the Aesop of the their day - they provide the ability to discuss deeper issues and lessons beyond the movie itself. Having a shared experience with our fellow humans is also important - while we might not all read the same book anymore, we might have seen the same movie. The importance of reading aside, this common bond and interest provides a connection for some to the people around them, which is incredibly important for social norms.

When I was a senior in high school we had to analyze our favorite movies. After spending weeks analyzing all different movies I can remember wondering if I had "ruined" movies for myself for all time - would I be able to watch without wondering the symbolism of every object? Without seeing every action as a deeper expression of the plot and themes? Luckily I have forgotten most of what I learned (sorry Mr. Shea); to avoid ruining the Oscars in the same way, I will now stop with my diatribe on the importance of story in human culture.

Either way, you can be sure I'll be watch the Oscars next year. And I still won't give a crap about who's pregnant and who Joan Rivers thinks is poorly dressed.

Song of the Day: Largo Al Factotum - Rossini

Saturday, February 23, 2008

wookin' pa nub

Simple Rules for Drama-Free Living:
1. Don't hook up with people your friends have hooked up with
1a. Also tricky territory hooking up with people your friends like
2. Don't hook up with the friends of people you've hooked up with
3. Don't hook up with people you work with (or your roommates)
4. Don't hook up with people you know like you but you don't actually like
5. If someone cheats on someone else with you, they will cheat on you (98% of the time)
6. You can't make someone love you and you can't dictate who you love

By definition, repeating the same action and expecting a different result is insanity.

Since my freshman year in college I have found, through the very scientific method of personal observation, that by following the preceding rules you can avoid all the guy/girl drama that I find to be just too taxing/annoying. And I have followed them somewhat religiously; I very often write off someone I might otherwise find attractive due to said rules. So, 10 years after enacting these rules where does this leave me? Well, I've not offended any of my friends (at least, not unintentionally), I'm amicable with everyone and theirs exes and in general, have done a pretty good job staying on the periphery of late night tear-soaked screaming matches and difficult conversations.

There are incidents in our lives that change our perspectives, for better or worse. Throughout our lives we are constantly growing (we hope) and learning from our experiences. If things aren't working in a way that you want them to, what's to say you can't just completely change what you're doing? Why not start again with a different set of parameters?

In the past 10 years while I have been doing my best to not hurt those around me, I have still not succeeded in protecting myself from getting hurt. While it is an impossibility to think that we can go through life unscathed, you would think that avoiding big drama would equate to avoiding big heartache...but it doesn't.

Now what? In many ways I think that although these rules have served their purpose - especially in a close-knit living situation like college - that they are also allowing me to avoid putting myself out there. Love is a big, messy, wonderful, horrible, surreal, fabulous ride and I've always been scared to take the reigns. My rules have provided me the perfect excuse to be able to stay in line and never have to give my ticket to the carny.

By breaking the rules I might make things a whole lot more complicated...but may also shake things up enough to bring on some new adventures in my life. And I'm always game for new adventure.

At this point, what do I have to lose?


Song of the Day: Hands Clean - Alanis Morissette

Friday, February 22, 2008

THE GREAT CONJUNCTION IS THE END OF THE WORLD! Or the beginning.

As I sit here having completed my entire 29th birthday, I cannot help but reflect upon the significance of the age. When I was born, my mother was 29. It is so incredibly bizarre to me to think of my parents as someone who would be my contemporary today, and even stranger to think of having a little me in the next year. Although it is physically possible for me to have a kid, I am not in any place in my life to be procreating. Let's do a brief assessment... By this point, my parents had been married for 4 years (me: nope, not even close). They had a house. (me: nope, not even close) I was actually born about 9 months after my mom turned 29. (me: nope, not even close...whew!) :)

29. Twenty-nine. Twenty. Nine. I have always thought that if I made it to 30 I would consider myself lucky...and to even be this close seems to me to be pretty cool. I've been incredibly blessed and lucky in the world - great family, great friends and amazing opportunities and experiences around every corner. I actually really enjoy my current lifestyle but I cannot help but think I am on the cusp of a new phase. Although I do not put a priority on marriage or kids, many of my peers are beginning to have serious relationships and get married and have children. So where does this leave me? I don't particularly want to get married or have kids and yet I don't particularly want to be that random old lady hanging out way past her prime.

I think the ability to age gracefully comes with the ability to accept that things change; you can't relive the past, as much as those experiencing a mid-life crises may be trying to. Getting a really hot car might make you feel snazzier and sexier but it certainly doesn't make you younger. And at some point trying too hard makes you, if anything, more pathetic.

I distinctly remember when my dad turned 40. I was about 9 and I asked him what it felt like to be 40. At the time, it seemed to me to be so incredibly ancient - indeed, it was more than four times the entire experience of my life at that point...40! His response still resonates with me today, and I think about it annually on my own birthday, and often times more than that throughout the year:
"Well, Lauren, the interesting thing is that as you get older you actually don't ever really feel that different on the inside -- it's the way the rest of the world sees you that changes"

I'm not at all sure what's coming next. For one of the first times in my life I actually have absolutely no idea what the next step should be. Or what I even really want it to be. (which many would say matters more than the "should" anyway). I just know that at 29, in the eyes of the world around me I have truly become a legit adult, and nothing I can do will make the grains of sand return to the top part of the hour glass.

So; I'm going to go with it. I by no means consider myself to be old. Far from from it. However, I can look back on enough and have changed perspectives enough from the days of my youth that I no longer associate myself entirely with that stage of life.

And you're right Dad; I still feel pretty much the same. Like me. It's just taken a while to figure out exactly what "me" feels like.

Song of the Day: Cats in the Cradle - Ugly Kid Joe (please forgive my inability to find the Cat Stevens version)

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Does anal-retentive have a hyphen?

Having recently entered the world of blogging I find myself in what might be a common conundrum for my fellow cyber-writers - how to organize my rambling jumbled thoughts to concise and topic-centric snippets...and how the heck to take the time to write it :). Part of the reason I started this blog was to practice my writing. Writing in a larger sense, not necessarily as a typical blog reflecting a daily update of my life. That being said, I don't know how you can have a blog without the influence of the world around you.

The difficulty for me comes from the organization. Do blogs inherently exist in a state of disorder? Other than the search/topic feature is there really a way for them to be organized? They are, indeed, a web-log, like the name implies. Merely a log of whatever you would like it to be. Your daily activity. The news of the day. The latest in the world of politics. The latest in the world of peanut butter. Captain's log, star-date 2-19-2008. Whatever you want is what you create.

Part of my struggle (other than finding dedicated time to write - which is what this exercise is really about anyway) has been a worry about how what I want to say will fit in with the other pieces. What is the overall goal/theme of my blog? Am I going somewhere with this or just going? Appropriately these themes are carried through my life as a whole right now, and at least temporarily I have reached acceptance. Acceptance that this blog is whatever I want to make it to be, and if I don't have a theme right now, or a greater purpose of story telling other than the need to write more often and with greater clarity I shouldn't let that be my roadblock. So, while I know, and understand that this content is available for perusal by others, I am going to write it for myself. It is doubtful that anyone reading my blog regularly (a miracle that anyone could be doing that - especially since it is virtually unknown) would necessarily notice a difference but it is a change on my outlook and my approach, and should make posting much easier because I will stop worrying about organization and just get to the business of writing. This isn't a novel (! shock and gaping mouth ensue) and I need to get over it. If I'm able to that, this blog will have been a whole lot more useful than just forcing me to write more.


Song of the Day: All My Life - Foo Fighters

Friday, February 15, 2008

Can you find me?

How I spent my Valentine's evening

Per the edict given by Dan Savage at the 11th Annual Valentine's Day Bash

I found the following letter (typed below verbatim) in a garbage bag on the corner:


To:
Karl Tegenfeldt
MCC Vietnam
01 NGO 103
Phao Dai Lang
Dong Da
Han Noi, Vietnam

Dec 19, 2003
Karl,
greetings! you and barbara are somewhere exotic right now, and I am sitting at Top Pot doughnuts watching the line for Lord of the Rings snake around the block. People are going ape shit over it, which I like. I've seen a lot of people in costume this week. I meant to send you and B a little christmas care package. Obviously that didn't happen. I'll have to send something soon. I used to be so good about that kind of stuff. Now I feel lucky if I remember to eat breakfast in the morning! How are you? In one of her emails. B said she was blown away by how good your vietnamese is and how well you've adjusted. Not much is new here. wyatt is getting more opinionated and mobile every day, and his weight seems to be stabilizing a bit :). He misses you. Yancey and I are growing restless at NHM - we'll see what happens. We think of you all the time and hope you are happy and well. All my love, Sarah.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Innocent Hearts

By the time you read this, tomorrow will be Valentine's Day. A day most likely abhorred by more than appreciated. I have never had qualms about VDay even though I have never once had a "Valentine" to share it with. In my world it has always meant it is exactly one week until my birthday, and as a kid that's the best feeling in the world. I never noticed whether I had gotten a Valentine from every boy in the class, or what the candy hearts said (it's a good thing "better luck next time" was never available). Even as an adult, I have maintained the whimsy that I assigned to the day as a child - I still get those kids Valentines and give them to all my friends (yours is in the mail).

This year I decided that a wonderful addition to the Pirates of the Caribbean Valentines Cards I got (for about 3 bucks at Rite Aid...hey it's the thought that counts!) would be some heart stickers. Not having bought sheets of stickers in a while, I assumed they would be readily available; a pack of regular heart stickers. Nothing fancy, just plain red hearts. A few days before Valentine's Day...sounds easy right?

Well, the search began on Feb 11th and 2 days later there are still not stickers to be found. Places I looked: Utrecht (Cap Hill); Rite Aid (Cap Hill); Urban Outfitters (you never know: Cap Hill); random card shop (with TONS of Valentines stuff in the window: Pioneer Square) "you're the third person to come in and ask...no we don't have any"; Bartell's Drug (5th and Virginia); the Hallmark Store (4th Ave Downtown); Borders (Downtown); Rite Aid (Downtown). How can NO WHERE carry heart stickers?! of ANY kind - fancy, plain, whatever?! At this point it has become a mission of curiosity (notice a pattern?) more than anything - why does no one have heart stickers? Is there ANYWHERE to buy them other than a specialty store of some kind?

This heart sticker issue has made me wonder: Do kids still have sticker books? As a child I can remember getting stickers to put in my sticker book - I would specifically save my allowance to go buy the fancy stickers at The Write Impression (a stationary story where I grew up) - they had everything there. I mean, everything - things so wonderful that a sheet of red hearts would have seemed too mundane to even consider. Yet twenty years later that's what I wish I could attain. Perhaps kids today have access to so many forms of entertainment that sticker books for fifty-cent stickers is so passé...why would you collect stickers when you can play Guitar Hero?

There was something satisfying to save up for that more expensive (i.e. $2) sticker - and to finally choose which one you wanted (sunglasses collection or shoe collection?) and then when it was finally added with such permanency to your sticker book you would return to it and happily look at same said stickers again and again. (Seriously? I did this?) - is there anything that offers a parallel satisfaction to kids today? The acts had no practical value other than perhaps the encouragement of budgeting, yet were something we would all obsess over and share with each other and show off to one and other. Do kids do anything like this today? I'm honestly curious - and for the joy of innocence deserved by the next generation I hope there is a positive answer out there. Maybe I'll find it wherever they keep the heart stickers.

Song of the Day: Owner of a Lonely Heart - Yes

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Take the gun, and leave the cannoli for me

Today is (was) Fat Tuesday. In my family it is a longstanding tradition to celebrate the day with baked goods and sweets. As a child, I can remember my extended family coming over and bringing the most delicious desserts - my favorite, of course, being cannoli. In a way, Fat Tuesday was almost better than Halloween because my mother permitted a no-holds-barred sugar feast unlike any other. We could eat an entire package of cookies, if we so desired (the effect of which was punishment enough, but I digress)

As an adult I now try to inspire a bit of sloth and gluttony amongst my friends and cook lasagna every year (with strict promises from all involved that if they are going to adopt this Catholic tradition, they will also not eat the entire next day nor enjoy life for the following 40) While this seems like an easy task, in actuality, the concept of never-ending dessert is foreign to most people. In recent years it seems I have been attempting to re-create the favorite memories of my sweet tooth (which now has a crown) with little success. People are all for dinner, and wine, but to convince them to each bring a dessert that results in a glucose schmorgasborg isn't as easy as it sounds.

Due to the difficulty of finding cannoli - especially good cannoli - in the fair city of Seattle I decided to have a cannoli contest for the first few years here. I figured that rather than spending (more*) massive amounts of time trying to track down cannoli, why not use the brains of my friends to assist me in my quest?! The unfortunate result was the unpredicted lack of valor for the task...rather than hunting down cannoli as I had anticipated, people quite easily threw in the towel and showed up without any sweets at all...which defeats the whole point. *original cannoli search story for another time

Last year I really emphasized the cannoli aspect and had a few entries of home-made cannoli, which was delicious.

This year I neglected to check how early Easter was and had a more low-key dinner due to inviting people mere days and hours before chow time. (he he -oops...) So I decided to forgo the cannoli contest completely for several reasons:

1 - Homemade cannoli, while amazingly good, never really satiated my curiosity...is it possible to get a good cannoli in this town? And where? Even the seemingly obvious answers hold no bounty. The offerings at the Italian Festival (Seattle's pathetic version of the San Gennaro Festival to you NYC types) is absolutely pitiful. When I have attended in search of that crispy shell and that distinctive-tasting filling I have repeatedly found only one booth sells cannoli - with soggy shells and maraschino cherries on the ends (if anything, I prefer a few small chocolate chips).
2 - People seemed to be getting too caught up in the contest as an all-or-nothing participation in dessert
3 - it's not fair to ask people to track down something last-minute that is only acquired through difficulty (whether that difficulty is actually undertaking the adventure of finding good pre-made cannoli or making the effort to create them yourself)

To keep it easy, when telling people to come over, I just asked them to bring wine and/or dessert.

So this time we had at least 3 different tiramisu...which I don't even really like...maybe next year I'll make individual assignments.


Song of the Day: Too Much by Dave Matthews Band

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Day 1. Let the madness begin.

testing. something about a fox repeated over and over. Lorum epsum, etc.

How are you supposed to pick a favorite template anyway? The difficulty with any design is the ability to continually tweak for eternity. At some point you just have to accept it as-is or you will never have a product. It's just so scary to let go when you know that what you have created is your representation to the world. That being said, thank god for spell check or I would most certainly seem like a bumbling idiot. (moreso than usual)