Monday, March 31, 2008

paved in good intentions

It seems that throughout the day and week I have many thoughts on subjects that would inevitable make wonderfully insightful and profound blogs. Problem is once I actually get to a computer, all those wonderful thoughts seem to get zapped by the likes of facebook, gmail, kayak, hokiesports, etc.

How is this possible? How can something that seemed to make so much sense to me be so easily erased by my ADD web distractions? Does anyone else always have at least 5 browsers open simultaneously? How can it already be 1am when I got into bed at 11pm?

If the original intent of this blog was to make me work on my writing, it is certainly demonstrating that creating any kind of cohesive piece is not as easy as I thought. I figured all these subject-driven thoughts and analytical zeitgeists would easily flow from the recesses of my brain to the computer screen. I certainly seem to have enough to keep me occupied while I'm on the bus.

Perhaps it is that half zoned-out stage where your mind wanders that is the best for creativity. My problem is finding some longevity for these internal manifestos.

In the age of technology, maybe my best solution is to start carrying a moleskine and jotting down at least some phrases to remind me of my subject matter. In so many ways I have things I need to do that never seem to get done. Let's add this one to the list.

Maybe I need to take a lesson from Yoda and finally have memorizing all the Stars Wars movies pay off in some way: "Do or do not. There is no try."

Song of the Day: Star Wars Cantina - Richard Cheese

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Internet killed the t.v. star

I am often that person who feels that tv provides little to enhance the human experience; that the scattered few years I have lived 'without' tv (bunny ears and a few static channels) were more fulfilling than with. That I don't need television to provide me with entertainment and I am capable of entertaining myself. That although some use t.v. as a crutch to connect with others I am able to find commonality elsewhere.

This is not to say I don't enjoy the incredible channel diversity currently offered by my satellite package...but even with over 100 channels the only things I watch regularly are the Daily Show and the Colbert Report. Seriously. And I can get those on the internet...so do I really need to subscribe to cable? Is it really providing me anything additional that I can't get elsewhere?

Today on the bus I overheard a few people discussing McCain's version of his Obama Girl...and one guy who hadn't seen it yet said "well, you're the third person to tell me about it, so now I'm gonna go check it out." This made me wonder: has the internet become our new common ground?

With the advent of TiVo and various internet sources to watch shows, there is no longer that next day water cooler discussion of last night's show...often you hear "oh, it's on my TiVo - don't tell me yet!" - so rather than providing a shared experience, it instead becomes more isolating - you watch what you want when you want, and you don't want others playing spoiler.

Even I, the self-professed anti-tv idealist can't resist the internet...and I would never consider that a waste of time, even though I have often been up way later than I originally intended doing nothing more than watching YouTube...if it is something I personally chose to watch rather than mindless channel surfing does that really mean it is better?

Is new media considered better because it offers personal entertainment choices or just because it is the latest new media? Does our new-found 'shared experience' do anything more than make us more isolated?

oh - and as far as my attempt as eavesdropping while listening to headphones? I'm guessing they mean the McCain Mama...

Song of the Day - You Can't Do That On Television theme song

A morning Haiku

My mind keeps racing...
an impossibility
to articulate

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Bitter With Baggage Seeks Pizza

One of my favorite books is by Sloane Tanen - Bitter With Baggage Seeks Same. It's mostly photos so it's just my speed. A friend recently sent me some mini chicks that resemble the stars of the book, so I thought it might be nice to set them up in some scenes of their own...


This was taken at Piecora's in Capital Hill, which is decent Pizza (IMHO, and by Seattle standards). Now, everyone has their own opinions on pizza, and their favorite pizza, and oh you can only get good pizza in Italy/New York/New Jersey/Chicago/wherever. I love pizza, even bad pizza. It just always surprises me that some people actually like the same pizza that I would consider to be my last choice; thick but not-deep dish, more sauce than cheese, kinda chewy crust, not easy to fold. I have actually had Seattleites tell me they would rather have this than a thin, folded-in-half-so-you-can-eat-it-on-the-go slice of cheesy goodness. Really. I guess if they didn't like it, it wouldn't sell? Although that may not be a good example because, regardless, if it's around I still eat it...who lets pizza go to waste!?


To sort this all out, the folks over at SPLOG! are working their way through all the pizza joints in Seattle. Good luck and enjoy your research! In the meantime, I'm still going to eat whatever pizza happens to end up in front of me. And I'm going to eat double that amount when I'm in New York.

Song of the Day: I'm Fat - Weird Al Yankovic

Friday, March 14, 2008

Happy Pi Day!

Yes, I am that much of a dork that I celebrate Pi day. I even went out with a bunch of friends, all of us wearing large "I heart Pi Day" buttons...yes really. I think the moment of the evening was when a random guy from a neighboring table came over to inquire about our celebration.

"oh, what school are you guys from?" - I explained to him we were just a bunch of random old people who were out celebrating. And asked where he went "Oh. Seattle University - you know, over that way" (pointing) Yeah dude, I know. No, I didn't say that.

I find it odd that people so often assume that I'm in some kind of schooling program. I mean, it's great - but also surprising to me, because I feel so far removed from college.

While travelling home for Christmas last year, I had a brown tube carrying a poster for my brother and a print for my parents. When I went to get off the plane, a woman handed it to me from the overhead and rather excitedly asked "Oh, is that some homework or a project?!" . Um, no. But thanks? It felt more awkward than complimentary but perhaps in ten years I will be more grateful for looking young. *by the way, I don't actually think I look that young...

Tonight at one point we were talking about Bel Biv Divoe and Boys II Men and someone said: "A.B.C., B.B.D."

I replied "(finishing the song) mmm, hmmmm. Whatever happened to A.B.C. anyway?"

at this point someone else joined in: "They weren't cute anymore. HA, A.B.C. - more like Another Bad Creation. (pause) ...oh, wait...that was actually their name, wasn't it?"

Pi Day Countdown

Song of the Day: Van Halen - Nerf Herder

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Yet another reason to support full-size, closing voting booths

photo credit: J.D. Pooley/Getty Images

Doesn't it look like all three of these people are in a slow-speed getaway from the camera with walkers? From this Sunday's Times Magazine

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Legitimate Fiction isn't just the name of a blog

The faint call from the other room was barely audible: "Sally?..."

Since she had been frantically searching the folds of her sheets for her cell phone anyway, and it was well past the hour she had intended to go to sleep, Sally slowly emerged from her bedroom and wandered out into the living room.

"Jessica? Did you want me? Are you ok?" she said as she rounded the corner to find her roommate collapsed on the couch - half sitting with her upper body half laying on the cushion next to a large bowl twice the size of her face.

"I threw up in the peanuts..." Jessica murmured in a faint whine. "It's rather tragic."

Sally didn't see any other substance in the peanuts other than some discarded shells, but the genuine concern and disappointment from her roommate was not to be disregarded.

"I think I got vomit all over the place," said Jessica, pointing to the coffee table in front of her knees, and around the room in general as she sat up. Her slur was becoming more audible to Sally the more she kept talking. "I'm really sorry. The show was great. I got a little too drunk. And I rarely get sick, and I can't believe I threw up and I'm so sorry and the peanuts are ruined and I don't think you really care that much but I'm really sorry about it and I can't believe I did that." she continued after her last run-on with a brief pause, "I'm really drunk, please tell me what to do."

Sally didn't know whether a gut-busting laugh would be well-received in light of the peanut tragedy, so she toned it down to just a smile. "Jessica - it's ok. I don't see anything anywhere. Are you ok? Don't worry about the peanuts, they were left over from someone who brought them over anyway."

"I know...ok...ok...but I vomited in them. I'm really drunk. Please just tell me what I should do?"

Sally picked up the bowl and brought it into the kitchen. "Well, first let's get you some water" she said as she dumped the peanuts into the garbage, put the bowl in the sink and filled a glass with the Brita from the fridge. "You should probably have a glass before you go to bed. And anyway I'm sure you want to wash your mouth out."

As she returned to the living room, she handed her roomie the glass and sat next to her on the couch. "We should probably get you up into bed. Is that ok? Can you go upstairs?"

Jessica closed her eyes and took two deep breaths. In what she thought was a private mutter but was actually just as loud as her speaking voice she said to herself, "Pull it together Jessica. You can do this."

"Do you want me to help you stand up?" inquired Sally without letting on that she could hear the personal dialogue

"Well...I'm just worried I'm going to throw up again on my way up the stairs"

"Ok...why don't we get you a travel bucket? Will that make you feel better?"

As Jessica nodded, Sally went into the bathroom and came back with the small plastic garbage can.

"Here you go! Just carry this with you - I can take your water. So, we're all together...are you ready to upstairs now?"

Jessica again nodded and stood up, which Sally took as a sign to go upstairs. As she was more mobile than her heavily inebriated roommate, once she got to the top of the stairs she put the water down on the dresser and attempted to arrange the sheets and comforters and blankets strewn across the bed in an order that would allow for Jessica to easily crawl in. As she was shuffling blankets, she heard the sound of scraping coming up the stairs due to Jessica's using the support of both the wall and the plastic garbage can to steady herself.

Suddenly she heard a thud and the sound of shattering glass so perfect, it was like an audio engineering student's "A+" sound-recording project.

She turned to see her roommate collapsed at the top of the stairs, half between the stair wall and a lazy boy, with the lamp that had once rested upright in the very same spot leaning cockeyed against the wall. The bulb and glass lamp shade were no longer in their correct place but instead strewn about in pieces on the floor.

"Good God, Jessica! Are you ok?! Be careful, get up slowly" said Sally as she extracted her into an upright position and launched her as best she could onto her bed. "Let me check your arm. Did you cut yourself, are you ok?"

Seeing no scratches, she laid her roommate down and pulled the blankets up over her. "I think it's time you get some sleep" said Sally.

"Ok," murmured Jessica, "but let's not tell anyone about the lamp."

"Don't worry," said Sally as she walked down the stairs, "I won't."


Song of the Day: Can't Nobody Hold Me Down - Puff Daddy feat. Mase

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

You are your own sight

Having recently been in the Salt Lake City airport twice in the past three days, I am reminded of a time when I lived in Utah. SLC is incredibly familiar and yet simultaneously foreign on my return visits. At this point I have lived in Seattle for more than twice as long as I lived in Utah. As I age, the blip of my life in Utah becomes less and less proportionate to my time spent elsewhere.

I doubt a two-year stint is ever enough to really allow yourself to call a place home, but Utah, and Park City in general will always have a significant place in my heart. Utah was the first place I ever called home truly by choice (as odd as that choice may be). It was always expected of me that I would graduate from high school and go to college; while I had some choice in where that college was, it was the expectation attached to it that makes it less of a free choice in my mind.

At the age of 22, my friend and I loaded her car and drove to Park City (where I had not been since I was 16) from NJ. We had a bit of help with housing initially but we were soon living in a two bedroom condo.

With less than a year remaining until I turn 30, it's with a bit of reminiscence that I think about my 22 year-old self striking out on her own to live how she wanted. While at the time it seemed to completely make sense to me, looking back I give myself more credence for being bold then I did at the time.

I'm learning it is not as common as I thought for people to leave their home state for even college, let alone to start their life as an independent adult. If anything, living in Utah was a great success story. I survived on my own, saved a little in my 401K, got to ski a ridiculous amount for little to no money, and left without any debt. This all sounds good on paper, but while I was there I never once felt as though I belonged.

I did ok while I was in Park City, but venturing down to Salt Lake or other, more remote parts of Utah were always somewhat intimidating. As odd as this sounds, I always felt as though everyone around me knew I wasn't Mormon.

When I was a sophomore in college, I distinctly remember hanging out in my room with my roommate and some of our mutual friends. At one point someone said: "Hey, you're the only one in here who isn't Asian! What's that like to be a minority for once?" At the time, I hadn't even noticed and when they asked the question I answered honestly: "It doesn't feel any different at all"

Fast forward 3 years to Utah. This time around I DID feel like a minority, and thought about it all the time. Whether or not I really was the only non-Mormon in the Crown Burger, I felt like I was. It is doubtful those around me even noticed (as I hadn't when I was in their position) but in my mind they were all looking at me, knowing and judging that I was not like them.

I can't claim to ever have lived a minority life, or know what it is like to be discriminated against purely because of the way I look, but just being in that minority mentality has given me more insight and empathy for others who always feel the way I felt for two years. And it is actually for the gift of this discomfort that I am most grateful for my time in Utah.

That, and the ability to rip when needed.

Song of the Day: Wide Open Spaces - Dixie Chicks

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Location! Location! Location!

It seems to me that these books might not be best sellars...taken 3/8/08 in the Salt Lake City Airport

Friday, March 7, 2008

Does anybody really know what time it is? Does anybody really care?

Sometimes I think that 80% of the things we claim we 'need to do' is just a bunch of b.s. to keep us sane.

I found a last minute flight to Utah to go skiing this weekend, and as I think about the things I 'needed to do' over the weekend (and obviously won't be doing) I realize that none of them are a true need...they are various things that I don't actually want to do, so they get classified as needs...but, unlike eating or breathing, they are not needs.

When I was 16 I spent 26 (I think? maybe 27 or 28) days in the wilds of Utah. Aside from being the most challenging thing I have ever done in my life, it was also the most amount of time I have ever spent outside 'civilization'. While on the trip I remember one of my instructors saying: "People often think of this as an escape from the real world. But this is the real world."

I have often thought about that at random times throughout my life. Sometimes when doing something as luxurious as using toilet paper; other times when overlooking a beautiful vista.

Ironically it has taken my retuning to Utah to finally get it. Never before has the impact of what he was saying meant so much than now. While I have occasionally thought about it, I never felt the meaning of it until I was categorically going through the litany of 'things I need to do' before I leave, and when I get back, and next week, and next weekend, and the week after that, and the month after that, and the year following.

What really matters? While clearly a deeply philosophical question , I don't need to be waxing poetic for 300 words about it. I just think the asking of the question; really asking yourself - is the important and relevant part.

For instance, if I decided that eating and breathing really matter, then should I not make sure I am eating healthy foods that will nourish my body rather than chips and salsa for dinner three nights in a row? Inevitably, I will not prioritize what I feel really matters because I don't have time, or I don't feel like going to the grocery store right now, or someone is coming over later, or I've been at work late, or, or, or.

So the challenge is this: defining what your real needs are and then keeping them in focus. Not that you should disregard all social norms; after all, smelling good (i.e. shower and clean clothing) is a need for those around you. Seriously.

Song of the Day: Responsibility - MXPX

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Voir, c'est croire!

From this angle Bellevue actually looks like it could be a cool place. Taken 3/5/08 on the corner of Roy and 23rd Ave E in Seattle.

Song of the Day: We Built This City - Jefferson Starship

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Fancy meeting you here, Mark Bittman

I have become completely addicted to my blog. I would like to blame JW for most of this...he keeps telling me about cool tools and shareware and other wondrous things that allow me to geek out even more than I was before.

I just added an RSS feed and am working on a topic cloud. What's next?! Soon all 3 of my readers will be able to upload my latest post on their mobile while commuting to work.

Is this the new form of communication? In the world of free share-ware, why does one really need a facebook or MySpace or friendster or LookAtMeAndMyFriends page? Doesn't a blog have all that ability to share and "show the world the real you"? Granted you may not be able to play scrabulous as easily but you still have the ability to create an online virtual persona that is one part a little bit you, one part the internal part you don't usually share, and one part the person you wish you were.

Just today in the NYT they had an article about the value of turning off and remaining unplugged at least once a week. Having just gotten my first laptop (i.e. working) computer in 10 years, I feel like I just got the the party, and yet people are already starting to leave.

Part of the reason I avoid technology sometimes is I very easily have the ability to go too far. I have an inner geek...I just also have an outer person who enjoys showers. So, if my CD player still works, why do I need an mp3 player (yet)? Since I got my laptop in January I have most definitely spent way more hours on it than dedicated to any other single activity. I have stayed up hours past when I have intended to go to sleep. I have found other blogs and are reading them regularly just because I wonder how they come up with content. I check my analytics almost daily. (Kiev?! Really?!)

So is technology just another outlet for releasing an internal part of me that might not otherwise get to whine and be completely neurotic all the time or is it an escape from daily 'real' life? I've started to care more about what I should write about next or what features to add than whether I get to work on time. Is that a result of technology or doing the same job for two years? Maybe a bit of both.

I have often thought that photographers very often enjoy taking photos because they get to set up the view of the world they want to portray, and they don't have to include themselves in it. In a way, blogging is a way to do the same except the focus is on you. You get to construct that lens through which others will see you. If you know nothing about me and read this, you will have a completely different idea of who I am than if you met me walking down the street.

Maybe this is why the internet appeals so much to people who may otherwise be social outcasts. I might make a good impression to you in real life (or not), but it doesn't mean the person with the most hysterical posts you've ever read would. And which one is really 'real'? My obsession is in full force now, like any child with a new toy on Christmas, but I am not about to forgo happy hour with friends or night of dancing.

However if one's life of reality sucks, I cannot blame people for making themselves to be who they want on their blog, or social networking media. All the more power to them. Just hopefully they make it out of their house one day so they can actually get laid.

Song of the Day: AYO Technology - 50 cent

Sunday, March 2, 2008

The latest in public financing for campaigns

In the Hall Feb 27th

A Dickens' novel by any other name

When you are thousands of miles away from your entire family, your friends become that support network to celebrate your ups and lift you when you are down. Friends provide voluntary unconditional love; not because they have to, or because you share a genetic bond but because they CHOOSE to. Choose to support. Choose to love. Choose to cry with. Choose to help when needed. Choose to laugh. Choose to hang out. Your family is given to you; your friends are chosen.

It is through various friendships that true characters can be revealed. People who you may hardly know may offer such unquestioning support; on the other end of the spectrum people who you think are great friends may betray you at their earliest convenience.

For various reasons but no reason in particular, I, in general, do not trust people. I have been this way since probably about the third grade. Not that I don't have the ability to absolutely platonically love a friend; I just am never surprised by betrayals or unreliability.

Seeing the preceding sentiments in writing seems unduly harsh, and yet I mean them no less. At the end of the day people are busy, have their own agenda, and in general I cannot blame them for looking out for number one (which is, in theory, something I need to work on more.)

My negative nancy attitude is merely a somewhat unsuccessful attempt to shield myself from the additional pain of disappointment. The idea being if you have no expectations you can't be surprised or additionally hurt. (Although perhaps you could argue that negative nancy attitudes are self-fulfilling prophecies...)

While having no expectations doesn't actually make transgressions any less arduous, it certainly makes moments of kindness and generosity even more meaningful. I am honored and touched in so many ways by the loyalty and love my friends have for me. It's amazingly powerful to think that someone chooses to be there for you, no questions asked.

Absolute faith in friendship is something I have reserved for few people; and those friends are certainly ones I would do anything for. ANYTHING. And if I feel this way about them, it certainly makes sense that the endearment could be returned.

It's incredibly touching to realize that you have people on your team, to stand by you and lift your spirits when even you yourself cannot recognize they need lifting.

I am indeed lucky to have an adopted family of choice. Now I just need to figure out how to give nancy an attitude adjustment.

Song of the Day: Dancing Nancies - DMB