-just won the lottery!
-is headed out to buy illegal drugs
-brought a prostitute home last night
-got waxed in the nether region this morning
-thinks the only way to shed these extra pounds is purging
-tore it up at AA tonight!
-was late to work due to brown bottle flu
-is in massive debt
-got arrested yesterday
-bought cheese shaped like the virgin Mary on eBay
-went to school with half these people and still can't stand them
-just booked a Chernobyl vacation
-would really like to have someone to go to sleep next to
-opted for veneers
-is actually completely bald
-is walking around naked
-wants you more than you know
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