who what where why when...and HOW??

greetings virtual world!!
It has been so long since I last communicated with you that I couldn't even remember my password for this blog!! hahaha! I could barely remember my security question!! DOH! :)

it has been many months and many miles since I last was here...and life changes in many ways but as Dave Matthews says, basically it stays the same. I am alive, I am breathing, I am healthy (thank you universe!) and I am still trying to figure it all out.

I am in dire need of once again whetting my proverbial writers whistle. It is amazing how the desire and need to write comes and goes...and yet I cannot control these waves or I would perhaps be on a better path to becoming a writer. Or by definition I suppose one who writes already IS a writer...as is the bane of any artist, it is just the survival upon your craft alone that becomes the beguiling part.

I have become more aware in my quest to write professionally...I have started really analyzing the writing of others...what writing do I enjoy reading, and what do I feel is a chore?

especially the travel blogs of others...I am also in the same boat that it is easy to just write the events of the day - but that is neither engaging nor entertaining. If I really wanted to know your every move I would ask to become your significant other.

Of course, this blog is no exception...but this is here as my own personal outlet, not as something I am directing people to read to showcase my (we hope not lack of??) creativity.

so where do we stand now? As usual, at the end of a ramble with no conclusion, no significant thesis, no theme and no arc. I had an English teacher who always said you had to know all the rules in order to break them. But what if e.e.cummings just didn't give a crap?

imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

regurgitation
no originality
cataloging me



------
Song of the Day - Do It Again, Steely Dan

hello old friend!!

My Dear Friend,

It has been long. So long. Too long.

I have missed you more than I realized, and I apologize profusely for my neglect. There are times in my life that I disappear from the view of those who love me...this past bit has been your time for that. It doesn't make it right. And my inability to promise it won't happen again offers no comfort.

The only thing I can say, and I must say, is this - it is often for a greater purpose we appear when needed into one and others' lives - and I am so glad to have you back, for whatever your purpose may be this go around. And for whatever purpose I may be here, I plan to enjoy our time together as long as it lasts.

~Yours.

I'm a slacker

I thought this was appropriate, and true. And all those Karl fans were so concerned about my spreading rumours. At this point I haven't posted in so long I'm pretty sure even my consistent readership of 2 has stopped anticipating posts.

Good news on the "attempting to actually keep up with my blog" front: I'm not travelling for a while so maybe (not to be confused with 'likely') I'll post more

Whether you think you can or you can't, you're right

This evening I was reading Reem Abeidoh's blog on Competitiveness in Social Media and it got me to wondering about the category into which I would fall, and into which category I would WANT to fall.

This makes me wonder what exactly is my endgame? Why do I participate in various forms of Social Media? What is the motivation, and does that motivation produce competitiveness?

I think that at this point I seem to be going backwards through the Social Media ladder. This is completely by choice; as a political candidate I was thrown into the pseudo-public arena [I say pseudo because we know how much the public pays attention to any election other than the presidency - and even that turnout is atrocious] and as such, needed as much exposure as possible. What better way to take advantage of free marketing than through Social Media? If I had really been more on top of it, I would have made sure to use twitter, del.icio.us, digg, etc. and not just the basics like YouTube, Facebook, MySpace, etc.

I have gone from wanting my image, and message on as many sites and discussions as possible to wanting to be myself without the scrutiny that comes from under the candidate microscope. Even so, there are certain things I will never publish on any form of social media, and to an extent is why I keep this blog anonymous. A candidate is no different at times than any other marketed product, and you want to maintain the integrity and value of the brand. I don't doubt that soon all candidates will have a social media team to maintain their online activity. It is no longer only the neighborhood forum that matters; the heated debate on twitter needs to be addressed as well.

Even so, what if my goal was to have an online expertise that would then translate into an illustrious political career? I would most certainly be maintaining all kinds of Social Media and have a blog that was more focused on political and/or urban space issues.

The thing is, at least on this blog, that is not my point. The point is making me feel somewhat obligated to my invisible loyal readers (Do you exist?! Thank you!!) to keep writing, even when I don't want to. There is a phase in any activity where you don't want to continue; but the only way to transcend to the next level is to bust through these mental block times. Without the invisible eyes of the potential reader, I would have hardly posted half as many posts as I have already. And that's not saying a whole lot. :)

Reem's blog has actually made me reassess in some ways what it is I am trying to accomplish. It makes me think that ideally - to really network and use social media to its fullest potential - you need to have a focus and clarity on your message regardless of exactly which form of media you are using. Since I am currently in the search/creation of my next message to the world, it would make sense for me to take a few steps down on that Social Media pyramid.

Song of the Day: The Way I Am - Eminem

One in Ten

Time never ceases to amaze me. The last post I made was ten days ago and yet it seems like it has been eons since I sat down and typed on my laptop (I don't count making moves on scrabulous as typing). As Einstein would suppose, time moves differently dependent upon whether the person experiencing the time is moving or stationary.


While I'm not quite sure how that translates to my past week and a half in the mathematic way, I certainly know that time often feel relative. I've been travelling, house/cat-sitting, bike commuting etc. and it seems as though all my time is spent on the move. Please note I have excluded my time spent at my desk from work into this very scientific calculation. I need to make a graph for graphjam.

Since I am house-sitting during bike-to-work month, I'm really making a conscious effort to bike even though I have been further away from downtown than I would be from my house...while I will inevitably (and hopefully) be in better shape by the end of the month, my commute has shifted from mindless music-listening, out-of-the-window-staring, thought-wandering bus riding to pedal-pedal-pedal-I-can-(huff-huff-breathe-breathe)-make-it-(pant-pant-breathe-breathe)-up-this-(wheeze-wheeze-breathe-breathe)-hill.

So, while perhaps I have embodied more of the 'living in the moment' zen so many seek, I haven't quite had the same sub-conscious down-time. While I would love for this excuse to be the reason I haven't been writing that much, I don't know if that's really the case.

For anything in life, you either do it or you don't. So, if you want something to be done, you just need to get off your ass, over yourself, and just do it.

I have a friend who gets up every morning at 5am (5AM!!!!) to write. Now that is a dedication and commitment that is truly impressive, and I think really shows where her priorities are for herself. At the end of the day, it's what we gives our priorities to that dictates the life we lead.

I will bend over backwards to save pennies and PTO to be able to travel as I want; if there is something else I want to successfully accomplish I need to be as willing to sacrifice and re-arrange other things to give that new item priority. If I can bring lunch every day knowing my saved money will contribute to my Hawaiian vacation, why can't I walk away from the television knowing that hour could be better spent writing lengthy stream-of-consciousness diatribes? (you may disagree with the 'better spent' sentiment)

No matter what it is you are trying to pursue, you can only accomplish it by not just thinking about it and dreaming about it but by actually doing it; until you are ready to willingly make that dream your priority in your every-day life, it will continue to merely remain a dream.

Song of the Day: Monkey Wrench - the Foo Fighters

making lemonade

It seems that more than writing about actual topics I seem to write about writing. I have had so many things I have wanted to say about a variety of topics - my friend's death, my brother's graduation, the surreal feeling of returning to places you know so well but seem so different the longer you are away...

So why can't I take the leap to actually write what I'm thinking? Why is it that I can seem to have an entire essay monologue in my head and the instant I get in front of a screen it is no longer there to be transcribed?

The point of this exercise was for me to start writing more, and the more I push the writing times into "when I have time" the more difficult it is to actually write.

If I'm going to make writing a real priority I'm going to have to start giving it priority time. Rather than "if I have time" it should be "I'm going to write now"

The apprehension behind this is, of course, the fear of becoming one of those blog-obsessed people who feel they can't discuss something because it was already posted on their blog or are wary to discuss the topic of a future post.

Overall though, I think the new ability for us blogger folks to post at a specified time will help; although only time will tell if that will work out...

Song of the Day: No Time - The Guess Who

The beauty of stealing internet

As I sit here in a park in Lahaina, Maui I wonder two things; 1 - why don't I live here? and 2 - How amazing is it that from this park bench I can poach internet access?!



The past few days I have been staying at the Waikaoloa Hilton on the Big Island (to cheer on friends in the Lavaman Triathlon) which is a fancy-schmancy resort that is pretty far removed from any other civilization. It's like Disney World, without the characters or fun rides. The thing is, you have to pay for EVERYTHING there. Internet is $6 per hour (discounts for more time, but still!) - all the restaurants cost much more than regular Hawaii ($4+ bagel and cream cheese anyone?) and even the shopping center grocery store is over-priced.



Unless you have an exorbitant amount of money, it seems completely ridiculous to me that you have to pay MORE when you are already paying to stay somewhere nice...whereas a basic hotel/motel almost always comes with free wi-fi these days. Even this bench along the wharf in Lahaina comes with free wi-fi.



SO I wondered - who are these people that stay here? Or do they just plan that cost into their vacation costs? If I was actually in Disney would I pay for wi-fi? (I am more forgiving of Disney World because I love it :)) I am willing to eat at the restaurants there with the argument that it is part of the experience; was it because I am doing this vacation on the cheap (we got the lavaman discount hotel rate) that it seems so ridiculous to me?

Maybe the cost of wi-fi is more that the actual cost from your pocketbook. Rather than chatting up locals or wandering around taking photos (which I am actually about to do in a bit) I am biding my time waiting for the Lanai Ferry by 'playing on my computer'...although I would like to argue that writing, while time-consuming, is not a bad way to pass the time. And just because it is on a computer rather than in a notebook should not make it more or less valuable. Plus I can luckily type without looking at the screen, so if anything I can argue that I am actually 'seeing' more than if I was writing in a notebook.

[For instance right now I am watching the ferry unload. It makes me wonder if these are the types of people I will be seeing more of in Lanai because I highly doubt those on Maui have gone and come back already at this hour in the morning (it is not even noon yet) - as a side note, can babies go in the sun? I mean, I guess they can but it seems weird to me.]

Just because something is more expensive does that mean it is actually worth more? At what point does price have nothing to do with value? And how many more purses does Paris Hilton need anyway?

paved in good intentions

It seems that throughout the day and week I have many thoughts on subjects that would inevitable make wonderfully insightful and profound blogs. Problem is once I actually get to a computer, all those wonderful thoughts seem to get zapped by the likes of facebook, gmail, kayak, hokiesports, etc.

How is this possible? How can something that seemed to make so much sense to me be so easily erased by my ADD web distractions? Does anyone else always have at least 5 browsers open simultaneously? How can it already be 1am when I got into bed at 11pm?

If the original intent of this blog was to make me work on my writing, it is certainly demonstrating that creating any kind of cohesive piece is not as easy as I thought. I figured all these subject-driven thoughts and analytical zeitgeists would easily flow from the recesses of my brain to the computer screen. I certainly seem to have enough to keep me occupied while I'm on the bus.

Perhaps it is that half zoned-out stage where your mind wanders that is the best for creativity. My problem is finding some longevity for these internal manifestos.

In the age of technology, maybe my best solution is to start carrying a moleskine and jotting down at least some phrases to remind me of my subject matter. In so many ways I have things I need to do that never seem to get done. Let's add this one to the list.

Maybe I need to take a lesson from Yoda and finally have memorizing all the Stars Wars movies pay off in some way: "Do or do not. There is no try."

Song of the Day: Star Wars Cantina - Richard Cheese

Fancy meeting you here, Mark Bittman

I have become completely addicted to my blog. I would like to blame JW for most of this...he keeps telling me about cool tools and shareware and other wondrous things that allow me to geek out even more than I was before.

I just added an RSS feed and am working on a topic cloud. What's next?! Soon all 3 of my readers will be able to upload my latest post on their mobile while commuting to work.

Is this the new form of communication? In the world of free share-ware, why does one really need a facebook or MySpace or friendster or LookAtMeAndMyFriends page? Doesn't a blog have all that ability to share and "show the world the real you"? Granted you may not be able to play scrabulous as easily but you still have the ability to create an online virtual persona that is one part a little bit you, one part the internal part you don't usually share, and one part the person you wish you were.

Just today in the NYT they had an article about the value of turning off and remaining unplugged at least once a week. Having just gotten my first laptop (i.e. working) computer in 10 years, I feel like I just got the the party, and yet people are already starting to leave.

Part of the reason I avoid technology sometimes is I very easily have the ability to go too far. I have an inner geek...I just also have an outer person who enjoys showers. So, if my CD player still works, why do I need an mp3 player (yet)? Since I got my laptop in January I have most definitely spent way more hours on it than dedicated to any other single activity. I have stayed up hours past when I have intended to go to sleep. I have found other blogs and are reading them regularly just because I wonder how they come up with content. I check my analytics almost daily. (Kiev?! Really?!)

So is technology just another outlet for releasing an internal part of me that might not otherwise get to whine and be completely neurotic all the time or is it an escape from daily 'real' life? I've started to care more about what I should write about next or what features to add than whether I get to work on time. Is that a result of technology or doing the same job for two years? Maybe a bit of both.

I have often thought that photographers very often enjoy taking photos because they get to set up the view of the world they want to portray, and they don't have to include themselves in it. In a way, blogging is a way to do the same except the focus is on you. You get to construct that lens through which others will see you. If you know nothing about me and read this, you will have a completely different idea of who I am than if you met me walking down the street.

Maybe this is why the internet appeals so much to people who may otherwise be social outcasts. I might make a good impression to you in real life (or not), but it doesn't mean the person with the most hysterical posts you've ever read would. And which one is really 'real'? My obsession is in full force now, like any child with a new toy on Christmas, but I am not about to forgo happy hour with friends or night of dancing.

However if one's life of reality sucks, I cannot blame people for making themselves to be who they want on their blog, or social networking media. All the more power to them. Just hopefully they make it out of their house one day so they can actually get laid.

Song of the Day: AYO Technology - 50 cent

Does anal-retentive have a hyphen?

Having recently entered the world of blogging I find myself in what might be a common conundrum for my fellow cyber-writers - how to organize my rambling jumbled thoughts to concise and topic-centric snippets...and how the heck to take the time to write it :). Part of the reason I started this blog was to practice my writing. Writing in a larger sense, not necessarily as a typical blog reflecting a daily update of my life. That being said, I don't know how you can have a blog without the influence of the world around you.

The difficulty for me comes from the organization. Do blogs inherently exist in a state of disorder? Other than the search/topic feature is there really a way for them to be organized? They are, indeed, a web-log, like the name implies. Merely a log of whatever you would like it to be. Your daily activity. The news of the day. The latest in the world of politics. The latest in the world of peanut butter. Captain's log, star-date 2-19-2008. Whatever you want is what you create.

Part of my struggle (other than finding dedicated time to write - which is what this exercise is really about anyway) has been a worry about how what I want to say will fit in with the other pieces. What is the overall goal/theme of my blog? Am I going somewhere with this or just going? Appropriately these themes are carried through my life as a whole right now, and at least temporarily I have reached acceptance. Acceptance that this blog is whatever I want to make it to be, and if I don't have a theme right now, or a greater purpose of story telling other than the need to write more often and with greater clarity I shouldn't let that be my roadblock. So, while I know, and understand that this content is available for perusal by others, I am going to write it for myself. It is doubtful that anyone reading my blog regularly (a miracle that anyone could be doing that - especially since it is virtually unknown) would necessarily notice a difference but it is a change on my outlook and my approach, and should make posting much easier because I will stop worrying about organization and just get to the business of writing. This isn't a novel (! shock and gaping mouth ensue) and I need to get over it. If I'm able to that, this blog will have been a whole lot more useful than just forcing me to write more.


Song of the Day: All My Life - Foo Fighters

Day 1. Let the madness begin.

testing. something about a fox repeated over and over. Lorum epsum, etc.

How are you supposed to pick a favorite template anyway? The difficulty with any design is the ability to continually tweak for eternity. At some point you just have to accept it as-is or you will never have a product. It's just so scary to let go when you know that what you have created is your representation to the world. That being said, thank god for spell check or I would most certainly seem like a bumbling idiot. (moreso than usual)