When you are thousands of miles away from your entire family, your friends become that support network to celebrate your ups and lift you when you are down. Friends provide voluntary unconditional love; not because they have to, or because you share a genetic bond but because they CHOOSE to. Choose to support. Choose to love. Choose to cry with. Choose to help when needed. Choose to laugh. Choose to hang out. Your family is given to you; your friends are chosen.
It is through various friendships that true characters can be revealed. People who you may hardly know may offer such unquestioning support; on the other end of the spectrum people who you think are great friends may betray you at their earliest convenience.
For various reasons but no reason in particular, I, in general, do not trust people. I have been this way since probably about the third grade. Not that I don't have the ability to absolutely platonically love a friend; I just am never surprised by betrayals or unreliability.
Seeing the preceding sentiments in writing seems unduly harsh, and yet I mean them no less. At the end of the day people are busy, have their own agenda, and in general I cannot blame them for looking out for number one (which is, in theory, something I need to work on more.)
My negative nancy attitude is merely a somewhat unsuccessful attempt to shield myself from the additional pain of disappointment. The idea being if you have no expectations you can't be surprised or additionally hurt. (Although perhaps you could argue that negative nancy attitudes are self-fulfilling prophecies...)
While having no expectations doesn't actually make transgressions any less arduous, it certainly makes moments of kindness and generosity even more meaningful. I am honored and touched in so many ways by the loyalty and love my friends have for me. It's amazingly powerful to think that someone chooses to be there for you, no questions asked.
Absolute faith in friendship is something I have reserved for few people; and those friends are certainly ones I would do anything for. ANYTHING. And if I feel this way about them, it certainly makes sense that the endearment could be returned.
It's incredibly touching to realize that you have people on your team, to stand by you and lift your spirits when even you yourself cannot recognize they need lifting.
I am indeed lucky to have an adopted family of choice. Now I just need to figure out how to give nancy an attitude adjustment.
Song of the Day: Dancing Nancies - DMB
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