hello old friend!!

My Dear Friend,

It has been long. So long. Too long.

I have missed you more than I realized, and I apologize profusely for my neglect. There are times in my life that I disappear from the view of those who love me...this past bit has been your time for that. It doesn't make it right. And my inability to promise it won't happen again offers no comfort.

The only thing I can say, and I must say, is this - it is often for a greater purpose we appear when needed into one and others' lives - and I am so glad to have you back, for whatever your purpose may be this go around. And for whatever purpose I may be here, I plan to enjoy our time together as long as it lasts.

~Yours.

W things I like

It seems the past 8 years have left a bad taste for W in many people's mouths. Here's a small stab at attempting to begin the healing process and re-mediate the situation:

water, welcomes, winter, wax in the form of candles, western mountains, wool hats, willingness, wiggling on the dance floor, wine, worn jeans, words, wocka wocka wocka, willy wonka, worthwhile pursuits, working outside, wise-ass jokes, Widmer bros beer, wall painting, waving, W hotel bar, Whiskey in concept only, whistling, Whistler, wearing earrings, wide loads on the highway, watching birds, walking, whales, wide wale corduroy, waves

Things that will never be my Facebook status

-just won the lottery!
-is headed out to buy illegal drugs
-brought a prostitute home last night
-got waxed in the nether region this morning
-thinks the only way to shed these extra pounds is purging
-tore it up at AA tonight!
-was late to work due to brown bottle flu
-is in massive debt
-got arrested yesterday
-bought cheese shaped like the virgin Mary on eBay
-went to school with half these people and still can't stand them
-just booked a Chernobyl vacation
-would really like to have someone to go to sleep next to
-opted for veneers
-is actually completely bald
-is walking around naked
-wants you more than you know

oggi

unoriginal
now trying to be something
yet being nothing

the day after

your paranoia -
every click means more readers
you're own enemy

the fine line between hope and insanity

It is, by definition, insanity to repeat the same action and expect a different result. I have seen this debated by some as a false quote attributed to various famous people...however, I personally saw that as the definition in my friend's psychology book when I was in college. So we will proceed with the assumption (and for the sake of this blog entry) for that to be true.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about this idea. In the physical world, it makes complete sense: i.e, if you stab yourself with scissors, it is not going to magically not hurt the 5th time. Nor will you not bleed if cut deeply enough. However, it the world of emotions, I think there is a fine line between insanity and hope.

How can you not repeat what seems to be the same action when it comes to personal interaction? If a kid gets rejected 3 times in a row for asking 3 different girls out, how can he not hope that on the 4th time someone will say yes? Wouldn't this just continue to be a mental beat-down if he didn't think the outcome would change?

Perhaps if there are different people involved, then it is not truly repeating the same action...for while the motions are the same, it is not the exact same action, for you have changed subjects.

That being said, for those of us who have faced mounting rejections, you wonder at what point it will change, or if you are insane for thinking that it might. I'm too optimistic in general to ever give up on anything, but perhaps I need to truly reassess my actions. I feel as though I have reached a George-Costanza-esque pivotal moment: if everything I have done doesn't work, perhaps I should try always doing the opposite of my instincts...

At this point it certainly couldn't hurt to try...


Song of the Day: All My Friends - Counting Crows

melancholy and the infinite sadness

There are times in life where you are so simultaneously antsy and immobile that there seems nothing to do other than wax poetic to your laptop.

For the sake of order, I feel it necessary to apologize for my lack of posts over the past few months. Intercontinental travel, changing jobs and moving three times in 4 weeks takes a toll...no excuses though, I just haven't taken the time to sit and write. And I need to...since this blog is here for me after all :)

That being said, this is also "National Write a Novel Month" or something like that. Interesting concept, and I forgot it was until the 4th and by then I was already 4 days behind. Woah, this post is already chock full of BS and I haven't even started yet...

WE NOW RETURN TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED BLOG:

There are times in life where you are so simultaneously antsy and immobile that there seems nothing to do other than wax poetic to your laptop.

I'm sitting here at 10pm and it feels like 3am. This has felt like the longest week ever and not because of work. A good friend of mine died in a scooter accident last week and I have spent a lot of time thinking about (and trying not to think about) everything having to do with it.

What does this mean?!
What am I doing with my life?!
What really matters?!
What do I really want, and am I focused on attaining it?!
Other things with exclamations and questions!?

sometimes it is so hard to laugh in the face of tragedy, and sometimes there is no other choice

one thing is for sure, I am so glad for what I have, and I love my friends and family.

...Sh*t I guess that's two things....


Song of the Day: See You Again by Mylie Cyrus
I love you Crystal - you are, and will continue to be, missed.