greetings virtual world!!
It has been so long since I last communicated with you that I couldn't even remember my password for this blog!! hahaha! I could barely remember my security question!! DOH! :)
it has been many months and many miles since I last was here...and life changes in many ways but as Dave Matthews says, basically it stays the same. I am alive, I am breathing, I am healthy (thank you universe!) and I am still trying to figure it all out.
I am in dire need of once again whetting my proverbial writers whistle. It is amazing how the desire and need to write comes and goes...and yet I cannot control these waves or I would perhaps be on a better path to becoming a writer. Or by definition I suppose one who writes already IS a writer...as is the bane of any artist, it is just the survival upon your craft alone that becomes the beguiling part.
I have become more aware in my quest to write professionally...I have started really analyzing the writing of others...what writing do I enjoy reading, and what do I feel is a chore?
especially the travel blogs of others...I am also in the same boat that it is easy to just write the events of the day - but that is neither engaging nor entertaining. If I really wanted to know your every move I would ask to become your significant other.
Of course, this blog is no exception...but this is here as my own personal outlet, not as something I am directing people to read to showcase my (we hope not lack of??) creativity.
so where do we stand now? As usual, at the end of a ramble with no conclusion, no significant thesis, no theme and no arc. I had an English teacher who always said you had to know all the rules in order to break them. But what if e.e.cummings just didn't give a crap?
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Monday, May 3, 2010
Neck Candy
An assortment from events past:
- The Luxury Home Tour of Deer Valley/Park City (Volunteer)
- Sprint Ultimate Airwave Aug 25, 2001 at Utah Olympic Park (VIP)
- CLICK! with your guests - Seattle Sonics (Know Your Stuff)
- Relay For Life benefit concert [Soul Providers, The Combustion Collective and Humidiflyers] May 12, 2004 (Buddha Bellies Team Member)
- DCA Temporary ID 5/30/00-8/30/00 (Office of the Commissioner)
- Sprint Ultimate Airwave Aug 24, 2002 at Utah Olympic Park (Foundation Guest VIP)
- US Freestyle Ski Team Tommy Hilfiger party at Suede. Performance by Fright
- Green Futures Charrette, Seattle (Downtown B)
- Event Sensations 05, Dance Heads Seattle, WA (CSEME 2005 Exhibitor)
- Coldwater bar and grill (DSA guest)
- Jet Set Sports "Touch of Gold" Holiday Celebration 20 Dec 2001 at Grand America Hotel (Guest of Jet Set Sports)
- Merrill Lynch Celebrity Ski Classic Dec 6-9, 2002 at Deer Valley Resort (Deer Valley Lodging)
- 2003 Freestyle FIS World Championships Jan 29-Feb 2, 2003 at Deer Valley (US Ski and Snowboard Team Foundation Guest)
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Found old journal pages
what do you do with old journals?
I love getting journals, but have the repeated habit of using about 10 pages and then not using it again. SO - while I do make the effort to also re-use books I have started, I also have decided that dragging an entire book with me for the sake of a few pages wasn't worth it. SO I took out what was written on and donated the book for someone else to use for their own creativity.
That being said, I figured this was a perfect medium to record my ripped out pages so I can not carry them around with me either. Oh the magic of the internet.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
12/31/05
On the cusp of the New Year. I'm on the train to NYC to start a New Life. Yea, I wish. I'm just headed in to do a little shopping, spend money I don't have, and in general ring in the new year with people I don't know. One day I want to have a fabulous apartment in Manhattan so I can have people over for NYE and end this dilemma of where everyone should go. Coming from the receptionist who's $6000 in debt. I should put it on my list of things to do in life and then it will get done. Maybe I can just get a really nice boat and live there.
RANDOM IDEAS
-black and white photo collection of the railways - all across the country
-Boat in Manhattan or in NJ w/ view of Manhattan (what happens in winter with boats? does Hudson freeze?)
12/28/05
On the train ride home today I realized what makes NJ special --
An older gentleman on the train leaving New York reminded me why I really do love New Jersey. After I began the conversation by asking the final score of the Rutgers game last night (because I fell asleep) he immediately began a conversation with me about the game, the Rutgers program, and how good it was for them to play well on National TV (ESPN - they lost by 5)
He was so genuine in his interest (and pride) that it made me wonder if he attended Rutgers. Odds are he probably didn't, but I don't think it mattered either way. Even I (an avid Hokie fan) was moved by the "Go Rutgers!" signs that replaced the traffic info on the GSPW and the fund that was set up to help students attend the bowl game. The conversation waned and we both returned to our respective conversations with our travel companions. When I was leaving the train, I said "goodbye" to the gentleman and he wished me a wonderful new year with such sincerity...
I love getting journals, but have the repeated habit of using about 10 pages and then not using it again. SO - while I do make the effort to also re-use books I have started, I also have decided that dragging an entire book with me for the sake of a few pages wasn't worth it. SO I took out what was written on and donated the book for someone else to use for their own creativity.
That being said, I figured this was a perfect medium to record my ripped out pages so I can not carry them around with me either. Oh the magic of the internet.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
12/31/05
On the cusp of the New Year. I'm on the train to NYC to start a New Life. Yea, I wish. I'm just headed in to do a little shopping, spend money I don't have, and in general ring in the new year with people I don't know. One day I want to have a fabulous apartment in Manhattan so I can have people over for NYE and end this dilemma of where everyone should go. Coming from the receptionist who's $6000 in debt. I should put it on my list of things to do in life and then it will get done. Maybe I can just get a really nice boat and live there.
RANDOM IDEAS
-black and white photo collection of the railways - all across the country
-Boat in Manhattan or in NJ w/ view of Manhattan (what happens in winter with boats? does Hudson freeze?)
12/28/05
On the train ride home today I realized what makes NJ special --
An older gentleman on the train leaving New York reminded me why I really do love New Jersey. After I began the conversation by asking the final score of the Rutgers game last night (because I fell asleep) he immediately began a conversation with me about the game, the Rutgers program, and how good it was for them to play well on National TV (ESPN - they lost by 5)
He was so genuine in his interest (and pride) that it made me wonder if he attended Rutgers. Odds are he probably didn't, but I don't think it mattered either way. Even I (an avid Hokie fan) was moved by the "Go Rutgers!" signs that replaced the traffic info on the GSPW and the fund that was set up to help students attend the bowl game. The conversation waned and we both returned to our respective conversations with our travel companions. When I was leaving the train, I said "goodbye" to the gentleman and he wished me a wonderful new year with such sincerity...
Saturday, May 1, 2010
1998 Mix Tape
SIDE 1
If I could talk I'd Tell You - the Lemonheads
Everything Shines - the Push Stars
??
Alternative, Baby - Reel Big Fish
Basic Instructions - Burlap to Cashmere
Don't Hate Me (Because I'm Beautiful) - Nerf Herder
Under Smithville - For Squirrels
Hold Her Down - Toad The Wet Sprocket
??
Hell To Pay - Leah Andreone
Pinball Wizard - the Who
Me - The Push Stars
??
Take On Me - Reel Big Fish
SIDE 2
Take On Me - Reel Big Fish (oh, the tapes where the song continues on the other side)
Big Yellow Taxi - Joni Mitchell
She Came On - Super Deluxe
Busy Bee - Ugly Kid Joe
Without A Trace - Soul Asylum
Please Don't Rock Me Tonight - Fountains Of Wayne
Lack of Motion - the Push Stars
Superman - Goldfinger
Something's Wrong - K's Choice
Imagine - Blues Traveler
Navy Bean - Tracy Bonham
With or Without You - U2
Something's Always Wrong - Toad The Wet Sprocket
Passion - Pat McGee Band
If I could talk I'd Tell You - the Lemonheads
Everything Shines - the Push Stars
??
Alternative, Baby - Reel Big Fish
Basic Instructions - Burlap to Cashmere
Don't Hate Me (Because I'm Beautiful) - Nerf Herder
Under Smithville - For Squirrels
Hold Her Down - Toad The Wet Sprocket
??
Hell To Pay - Leah Andreone
Pinball Wizard - the Who
Me - The Push Stars
??
Take On Me - Reel Big Fish
SIDE 2
Take On Me - Reel Big Fish (oh, the tapes where the song continues on the other side)
Big Yellow Taxi - Joni Mitchell
She Came On - Super Deluxe
Busy Bee - Ugly Kid Joe
Without A Trace - Soul Asylum
Please Don't Rock Me Tonight - Fountains Of Wayne
Lack of Motion - the Push Stars
Superman - Goldfinger
Something's Wrong - K's Choice
Imagine - Blues Traveler
Navy Bean - Tracy Bonham
With or Without You - U2
Something's Always Wrong - Toad The Wet Sprocket
Passion - Pat McGee Band
Friday, April 30, 2010
Found in a notebook covered with hybiscus
In my new life:
Waikiki Haiku
waiting for the 4
really want to eat dinner
yogurt has worn off
--------------------------
The sweet taste of the envelope offered no comfort. The letter marked the finality of it all, and the only sweetness about it was currently found on her tongue.
-----------------------
The lady at the Westin said it wasn't possible to get journals anymore because they weren't selling -- now someone comes in once a year and asks (I apparently get the annual honor of asking for 2008).
What Would Hemmingway Do? (WWHD) - he and Picasso were apparently always running around with a Moleskine. They seem to be for sale everywhere in Europe...yet in the entire SLC airport, and on every island thus far (BI, Maui, Lanai, Oahu) they are no where to be found. Maybe these days what people need is a blog book. Something to keep your thoughts organized until you get to a computer. [2010 interruption - with the quality of cell phones and the prevalence of twitter, that's already available if you want it]
---------------------------
LOVE Waikiki
Love sitting and watching surfers - good surfers, bad surfers, new surfers.
All together in one locale enjoying the sport - and you know people are, in general clueless enough so you do not get mad if you accidentally get cut off
----------------------------
HAIKU for JAH Wes
my apologies
we need to go to dinner
hopefully this week
:)
-------------------------
If they wrap buses for advertising, why don't they consistently keep the same buses on the same routes? then you could always find your bus easily.
------------------------
As the comfort of online business increases, the need for interactive customer service decreases. Someone should start selling cars online so I don't have to deal with the people at the dealership.
- Channel Lanai
- Live simply - by choice
- enjoy the beauty around you
- you don't need a lot of stuff
- plan to BE FREE
Waikiki Haiku
waiting for the 4
really want to eat dinner
yogurt has worn off
--------------------------
The sweet taste of the envelope offered no comfort. The letter marked the finality of it all, and the only sweetness about it was currently found on her tongue.
-----------------------
The lady at the Westin said it wasn't possible to get journals anymore because they weren't selling -- now someone comes in once a year and asks (I apparently get the annual honor of asking for 2008).
What Would Hemmingway Do? (WWHD) - he and Picasso were apparently always running around with a Moleskine. They seem to be for sale everywhere in Europe...yet in the entire SLC airport, and on every island thus far (BI, Maui, Lanai, Oahu) they are no where to be found. Maybe these days what people need is a blog book. Something to keep your thoughts organized until you get to a computer. [2010 interruption - with the quality of cell phones and the prevalence of twitter, that's already available if you want it]
---------------------------
LOVE Waikiki
Love sitting and watching surfers - good surfers, bad surfers, new surfers.
All together in one locale enjoying the sport - and you know people are, in general clueless enough so you do not get mad if you accidentally get cut off
----------------------------
HAIKU for JAH Wes
my apologies
we need to go to dinner
hopefully this week
:)
-------------------------
If they wrap buses for advertising, why don't they consistently keep the same buses on the same routes? then you could always find your bus easily.
------------------------
As the comfort of online business increases, the need for interactive customer service decreases. Someone should start selling cars online so I don't have to deal with the people at the dealership.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
A Few Hawaiian Words
'Aina - (eye-nah) - Land.
Ali'i - (ah-LEE-ee) - A Hawaiian chief; a member of the chiefly class.
Aloha - (ah-LOW-ha) - Hello, goodbye, or a feeling or the spirit of love, affection, or kindness.
Hale - (hah-leh) - House or building.
Hana - (ha-nah) - Work.
Hana hou - (ha-nah-Ho) - To do again.
Haole - (how-leh) - Originally foreigner, now means Caucasian
Heiau - (hey-ee-ow) - Hawaiian temple.
Hula - (hoo-lah) The story telling dance of Hawaii.
Imu - (ee-moo) - An underground oven.
Kahuna - (kah-HOO-na) - A Priest or minister; someone who is an expert in a profession.
Kai - (kigh) - The sea.
Kalua - (KAH-loo-ah) - Cooking food underground.
Kama'aina - (kah-ma-EYE-na) - Long time Hawaiian resident.
Kane - (hah-neh) - Boy or man.
Kapu - (kah-poo) - Forbidden, taboo; keep out.
Keiki - (kay-key) - Child or children.
Kokua - (koh-koo-ah) - Help.
Kona - (koh - NAH) - Leeward side of the island; wind blowing from the south, southwest direction.
Lanai - (lah-NIGH) - Porch, veranda, patio.
Lei - (lay) - Necklace of flowers, shells, or feathers.
Limu - (lee-moo) - Edible seaweed.
Lomi - (loo-mee) - To rub or massage; lomi salmon is raw salmon rubbed with salt.
Lu'au - (loo-aw) - Hawaiian feast; literally means taro leaves.
Mahalo - (mah-hah-low) Thank you.
Makai - (mah- kigh) - Toward the sea.
Malihini - (mah-lee-hee-nee) - A newcomer, visitor, or guest.
Mauka - (mow-ka) - Toward the mountain.
O'hana - (oh-hah-nah) - Family.
'Ono - (oh-no) - Delicious, the best.
Pali - (pah-lee) - A cliff.
Paniolo - (pah-nee-low-low) - Hawaiian cowboy.
Pau - (pow) - Finish, end, ie. Pau hana means quitting time from work.
Wahine - (wah-hee-ney) - Woman.
Wai - (why) - Fresh water.
Wikiwiki - (wee-kee-wee-kee) - To hurry up, very quick.
----------------
Song of the Day - Somewhere Over The Rainbow, IZ
Ali'i - (ah-LEE-ee) - A Hawaiian chief; a member of the chiefly class.
Aloha - (ah-LOW-ha) - Hello, goodbye, or a feeling or the spirit of love, affection, or kindness.
Hale - (hah-leh) - House or building.
Hana - (ha-nah) - Work.
Hana hou - (ha-nah-Ho) - To do again.
Haole - (how-leh) - Originally foreigner, now means Caucasian
Heiau - (hey-ee-ow) - Hawaiian temple.
Hula - (hoo-lah) The story telling dance of Hawaii.
Imu - (ee-moo) - An underground oven.
Kahuna - (kah-HOO-na) - A Priest or minister; someone who is an expert in a profession.
Kai - (kigh) - The sea.
Kalua - (KAH-loo-ah) - Cooking food underground.
Kama'aina - (kah-ma-EYE-na) - Long time Hawaiian resident.
Kane - (hah-neh) - Boy or man.
Kapu - (kah-poo) - Forbidden, taboo; keep out.
Keiki - (kay-key) - Child or children.
Kokua - (koh-koo-ah) - Help.
Kona - (koh - NAH) - Leeward side of the island; wind blowing from the south, southwest direction.
Lanai - (lah-NIGH) - Porch, veranda, patio.
Lei - (lay) - Necklace of flowers, shells, or feathers.
Limu - (lee-moo) - Edible seaweed.
Lomi - (loo-mee) - To rub or massage; lomi salmon is raw salmon rubbed with salt.
Lu'au - (loo-aw) - Hawaiian feast; literally means taro leaves.
Mahalo - (mah-hah-low) Thank you.
Makai - (mah- kigh) - Toward the sea.
Malihini - (mah-lee-hee-nee) - A newcomer, visitor, or guest.
Mauka - (mow-ka) - Toward the mountain.
O'hana - (oh-hah-nah) - Family.
'Ono - (oh-no) - Delicious, the best.
Pali - (pah-lee) - A cliff.
Paniolo - (pah-nee-low-low) - Hawaiian cowboy.
Pau - (pow) - Finish, end, ie. Pau hana means quitting time from work.
Wahine - (wah-hee-ney) - Woman.
Wai - (why) - Fresh water.
Wikiwiki - (wee-kee-wee-kee) - To hurry up, very quick.
----------------
Song of the Day - Somewhere Over The Rainbow, IZ
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
K.E.X.P. hit list (circa '08)
Justice - D.A.N.C.E.
JuniorBoys - in the Morning
John Vanderslice - Exodus Damage
The Budos Band - Scorpion
Blotto - I want to be a lifeguard
Ben Folds - Landed
DeVotchka - The Enemy Guns
Vampire Weekend - Cape Cod Kwassa kwassa
Deny - default
Link Wray - Rumble
Amy Winehouse - You know I'm No Good
MC Lars - Hot Topic is Not Punk Rock!
sewn - the feeling
Manu Chau - Me Gustas Tu
Jane Fonda - Mickey Avalon
Alias - Exodus Damage - remix for John Vanderslice
Harvey Danger - Little Round Mirrors
Akrobatik - A to the K (feat B-real)
Iron & Wine - Boy with a coin
The Black Keys - Have Love, Will Travel
Remy Zero - save me
The Blakes - Modern Man
Built to Spill - Goin' Against Your Mind
S Club 7 - don't stop movin'
McClusky - to Hell w/ Good Intentions
Stiff Little Fingers - Barbed Wire Love
The Mountain Goats - No Children
Lucinda Williams - Can't Let Go
The Avett Brothers - Will You Return
Jenny Lewis & the Watson Twins - Handle w/Care (w/Conor Oberst, M. Ward & Ben Gibbard)
Jamie Foxx feat Ludacris - Unpredictable
The Thrills - Big Sur
Kasey Chambers - The Captain
Skream - Midnight Request Line
Various - Hater (Album: the World is Gone)
Neko Case - Hold On, Hold On
Rogue Wave - Bird on a wire
Foo Fighters - Dear Lover
Clem Snide - I love the unknown
the Decembrists - Engine Driver
Groove Armada - At the River
Rocky Votolato - White Daisy Passing
Bowling for Soup - Girl all the bad guys want
Guster - Center of Attention
The Fratellis - Chelsea Dagger
120 Days - Come Out (Come Down, Fade Out, Be Gone)
Fugazi - waiting room
DJ Logic - French Quarter
Goldfrapp - Ohh la la
The Black Angels - Bloodhounds on My trail
Bjork - It's Oh So Quiet
Ben Lee - Gamble Everything for Love
Modest Mouse - Dashboard
Killing Me - the Rewinds
the Vines - TV Pro
The Mars Volta - the Widow
Sun Kill Moon - Carry Me Ohio
Rinocerose - cubicle
Soul Coughing - Super bon bon
Muse - Supermassive Black Hole
Bishop Allen - click, click, click, click
Dan Le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip - Thou Shalt Always Kill
Feist - My Moon My Man
Okkervil River - Our live Is Not A Movie or Maybe
Minus the Bear - knights
Modest Mouse - Gravity Rides Everything
Bishop Allen - Like Castanets
Stellastar - My Coco
Yeasayer - 2080
Cancer Rising - Wait A Minute
Grizzley Bear - Knife
The Impressions - Women's Got Soul
The Church - Under the Milky Way
The Go - Yer Stoned Italian Cowboy
The Fratellis - Flathead
DJ Dolores - J.P.S.
Nortec Collective Presents:Bostich & Fussible
The Von Bondies - C'mon C'mon
Port O'Brien - I woke up today
the Stills - still in love song
The cure - the lovecats
Bare Jr - You Blew Me Off
JuniorBoys - in the Morning
John Vanderslice - Exodus Damage
The Budos Band - Scorpion
Blotto - I want to be a lifeguard
Ben Folds - Landed
DeVotchka - The Enemy Guns
Vampire Weekend - Cape Cod Kwassa kwassa
Deny - default
Link Wray - Rumble
Amy Winehouse - You know I'm No Good
MC Lars - Hot Topic is Not Punk Rock!
sewn - the feeling
Manu Chau - Me Gustas Tu
Jane Fonda - Mickey Avalon
Alias - Exodus Damage - remix for John Vanderslice
Harvey Danger - Little Round Mirrors
Akrobatik - A to the K (feat B-real)
Iron & Wine - Boy with a coin
The Black Keys - Have Love, Will Travel
Remy Zero - save me
The Blakes - Modern Man
Built to Spill - Goin' Against Your Mind
S Club 7 - don't stop movin'
McClusky - to Hell w/ Good Intentions
Stiff Little Fingers - Barbed Wire Love
The Mountain Goats - No Children
Lucinda Williams - Can't Let Go
The Avett Brothers - Will You Return
Jenny Lewis & the Watson Twins - Handle w/Care (w/Conor Oberst, M. Ward & Ben Gibbard)
Jamie Foxx feat Ludacris - Unpredictable
The Thrills - Big Sur
Kasey Chambers - The Captain
Skream - Midnight Request Line
Various - Hater (Album: the World is Gone)
Neko Case - Hold On, Hold On
Rogue Wave - Bird on a wire
Foo Fighters - Dear Lover
Clem Snide - I love the unknown
the Decembrists - Engine Driver
Groove Armada - At the River
Rocky Votolato - White Daisy Passing
Bowling for Soup - Girl all the bad guys want
Guster - Center of Attention
The Fratellis - Chelsea Dagger
120 Days - Come Out (Come Down, Fade Out, Be Gone)
Fugazi - waiting room
DJ Logic - French Quarter
Goldfrapp - Ohh la la
The Black Angels - Bloodhounds on My trail
Bjork - It's Oh So Quiet
Ben Lee - Gamble Everything for Love
Modest Mouse - Dashboard
Killing Me - the Rewinds
the Vines - TV Pro
The Mars Volta - the Widow
Sun Kill Moon - Carry Me Ohio
Rinocerose - cubicle
Soul Coughing - Super bon bon
Muse - Supermassive Black Hole
Bishop Allen - click, click, click, click
Dan Le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip - Thou Shalt Always Kill
Feist - My Moon My Man
Okkervil River - Our live Is Not A Movie or Maybe
Minus the Bear - knights
Modest Mouse - Gravity Rides Everything
Bishop Allen - Like Castanets
Stellastar - My Coco
Yeasayer - 2080
Cancer Rising - Wait A Minute
Grizzley Bear - Knife
The Impressions - Women's Got Soul
The Church - Under the Milky Way
The Go - Yer Stoned Italian Cowboy
The Fratellis - Flathead
DJ Dolores - J.P.S.
Nortec Collective Presents:Bostich & Fussible
The Von Bondies - C'mon C'mon
Port O'Brien - I woke up today
the Stills - still in love song
The cure - the lovecats
Bare Jr - You Blew Me Off
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
2008 Movie night: the list (in no particular order)
Poltergeist
Rushmore/Royal Tannebaums (sic)
Dumb & Dumber
the Big Lebowski
Trading Places
Living in America
the Jerk
Fatso
Mallrats
The Muppet Movie
Tombstone
Citizen Kane
Singin' in the Rain
The Jazz Singer
200 cigarettes
Rushmore/Royal Tannebaums (sic)
Dumb & Dumber
the Big Lebowski
Trading Places
Living in America
the Jerk
Fatso
Mallrats
The Muppet Movie
Tombstone
Citizen Kane
Singin' in the Rain
The Jazz Singer
200 cigarettes
Monday, April 26, 2010
hello old friend!!
My Dear Friend,
It has been long. So long. Too long.
I have missed you more than I realized, and I apologize profusely for my neglect. There are times in my life that I disappear from the view of those who love me...this past bit has been your time for that. It doesn't make it right. And my inability to promise it won't happen again offers no comfort.
The only thing I can say, and I must say, is this - it is often for a greater purpose we appear when needed into one and others' lives - and I am so glad to have you back, for whatever your purpose may be this go around. And for whatever purpose I may be here, I plan to enjoy our time together as long as it lasts.
~Yours.
It has been long. So long. Too long.
I have missed you more than I realized, and I apologize profusely for my neglect. There are times in my life that I disappear from the view of those who love me...this past bit has been your time for that. It doesn't make it right. And my inability to promise it won't happen again offers no comfort.
The only thing I can say, and I must say, is this - it is often for a greater purpose we appear when needed into one and others' lives - and I am so glad to have you back, for whatever your purpose may be this go around. And for whatever purpose I may be here, I plan to enjoy our time together as long as it lasts.
~Yours.
Friday, March 20, 2009
W things I like
It seems the past 8 years have left a bad taste for W in many people's mouths. Here's a small stab at attempting to begin the healing process and re-mediate the situation:
water, welcomes, winter, wax in the form of candles, western mountains, wool hats, willingness, wiggling on the dance floor, wine, worn jeans, words, wocka wocka wocka, willy wonka, worthwhile pursuits, working outside, wise-ass jokes, Widmer bros beer, wall painting, waving, W hotel bar, Whiskey in concept only, whistling, Whistler, wearing earrings, wide loads on the highway, watching birds, walking, whales, wide wale corduroy, waves
water, welcomes, winter, wax in the form of candles, western mountains, wool hats, willingness, wiggling on the dance floor, wine, worn jeans, words, wocka wocka wocka, willy wonka, worthwhile pursuits, working outside, wise-ass jokes, Widmer bros beer, wall painting, waving, W hotel bar, Whiskey in concept only, whistling, Whistler, wearing earrings, wide loads on the highway, watching birds, walking, whales, wide wale corduroy, waves
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Things that will never be my Facebook status
-just won the lottery!
-is headed out to buy illegal drugs
-brought a prostitute home last night
-got waxed in the nether region this morning
-thinks the only way to shed these extra pounds is purging
-tore it up at AA tonight!
-was late to work due to brown bottle flu
-is in massive debt
-got arrested yesterday
-bought cheese shaped like the virgin Mary on eBay
-went to school with half these people and still can't stand them
-just booked a Chernobyl vacation
-would really like to have someone to go to sleep next to
-opted for veneers
-is actually completely bald
-is walking around naked
-wants you more than you know
-is headed out to buy illegal drugs
-brought a prostitute home last night
-got waxed in the nether region this morning
-thinks the only way to shed these extra pounds is purging
-tore it up at AA tonight!
-was late to work due to brown bottle flu
-is in massive debt
-got arrested yesterday
-bought cheese shaped like the virgin Mary on eBay
-went to school with half these people and still can't stand them
-just booked a Chernobyl vacation
-would really like to have someone to go to sleep next to
-opted for veneers
-is actually completely bald
-is walking around naked
-wants you more than you know
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
the day after
your paranoia -
every click means more readers
you're own enemy
every click means more readers
you're own enemy
Labels:
I do what the Stranger tells me to,
lazy post,
poems
Saturday, February 14, 2009
the fine line between hope and insanity
It is, by definition, insanity to repeat the same action and expect a different result. I have seen this debated by some as a false quote attributed to various famous people...however, I personally saw that as the definition in my friend's psychology book when I was in college. So we will proceed with the assumption (and for the sake of this blog entry) for that to be true.
Lately I have been thinking a lot about this idea. In the physical world, it makes complete sense: i.e, if you stab yourself with scissors, it is not going to magically not hurt the 5th time. Nor will you not bleed if cut deeply enough. However, it the world of emotions, I think there is a fine line between insanity and hope.
How can you not repeat what seems to be the same action when it comes to personal interaction? If a kid gets rejected 3 times in a row for asking 3 different girls out, how can he not hope that on the 4th time someone will say yes? Wouldn't this just continue to be a mental beat-down if he didn't think the outcome would change?
Perhaps if there are different people involved, then it is not truly repeating the same action...for while the motions are the same, it is not the exact same action, for you have changed subjects.
That being said, for those of us who have faced mounting rejections, you wonder at what point it will change, or if you are insane for thinking that it might. I'm too optimistic in general to ever give up on anything, but perhaps I need to truly reassess my actions. I feel as though I have reached a George-Costanza-esque pivotal moment: if everything I have done doesn't work, perhaps I should try always doing the opposite of my instincts...
At this point it certainly couldn't hurt to try...
Song of the Day: All My Friends - Counting Crows
Lately I have been thinking a lot about this idea. In the physical world, it makes complete sense: i.e, if you stab yourself with scissors, it is not going to magically not hurt the 5th time. Nor will you not bleed if cut deeply enough. However, it the world of emotions, I think there is a fine line between insanity and hope.
How can you not repeat what seems to be the same action when it comes to personal interaction? If a kid gets rejected 3 times in a row for asking 3 different girls out, how can he not hope that on the 4th time someone will say yes? Wouldn't this just continue to be a mental beat-down if he didn't think the outcome would change?
Perhaps if there are different people involved, then it is not truly repeating the same action...for while the motions are the same, it is not the exact same action, for you have changed subjects.
That being said, for those of us who have faced mounting rejections, you wonder at what point it will change, or if you are insane for thinking that it might. I'm too optimistic in general to ever give up on anything, but perhaps I need to truly reassess my actions. I feel as though I have reached a George-Costanza-esque pivotal moment: if everything I have done doesn't work, perhaps I should try always doing the opposite of my instincts...
At this point it certainly couldn't hurt to try...
Song of the Day: All My Friends - Counting Crows
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
melancholy and the infinite sadness
There are times in life where you are so simultaneously antsy and immobile that there seems nothing to do other than wax poetic to your laptop.
For the sake of order, I feel it necessary to apologize for my lack of posts over the past few months. Intercontinental travel, changing jobs and moving three times in 4 weeks takes a toll...no excuses though, I just haven't taken the time to sit and write. And I need to...since this blog is here for me after all :)
That being said, this is also "National Write a Novel Month" or something like that. Interesting concept, and I forgot it was until the 4th and by then I was already 4 days behind. Woah, this post is already chock full of BS and I haven't even started yet...
WE NOW RETURN TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED BLOG:
There are times in life where you are so simultaneously antsy and immobile that there seems nothing to do other than wax poetic to your laptop.
I'm sitting here at 10pm and it feels like 3am. This has felt like the longest week ever and not because of work. A good friend of mine died in a scooter accident last week and I have spent a lot of time thinking about (and trying not to think about) everything having to do with it.
What does this mean?!
What am I doing with my life?!
What really matters?!
What do I really want, and am I focused on attaining it?!
Other things with exclamations and questions!?
sometimes it is so hard to laugh in the face of tragedy, and sometimes there is no other choice
one thing is for sure, I am so glad for what I have, and I love my friends and family.
...Sh*t I guess that's two things....
Song of the Day: See You Again by Mylie Cyrus
I love you Crystal - you are, and will continue to be, missed.
For the sake of order, I feel it necessary to apologize for my lack of posts over the past few months. Intercontinental travel, changing jobs and moving three times in 4 weeks takes a toll...no excuses though, I just haven't taken the time to sit and write. And I need to...since this blog is here for me after all :)
That being said, this is also "National Write a Novel Month" or something like that. Interesting concept, and I forgot it was until the 4th and by then I was already 4 days behind. Woah, this post is already chock full of BS and I haven't even started yet...
WE NOW RETURN TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED BLOG:
There are times in life where you are so simultaneously antsy and immobile that there seems nothing to do other than wax poetic to your laptop.
I'm sitting here at 10pm and it feels like 3am. This has felt like the longest week ever and not because of work. A good friend of mine died in a scooter accident last week and I have spent a lot of time thinking about (and trying not to think about) everything having to do with it.
What does this mean?!
What am I doing with my life?!
What really matters?!
What do I really want, and am I focused on attaining it?!
Other things with exclamations and questions!?
sometimes it is so hard to laugh in the face of tragedy, and sometimes there is no other choice
one thing is for sure, I am so glad for what I have, and I love my friends and family.
...Sh*t I guess that's two things....
Song of the Day: See You Again by Mylie Cyrus
I love you Crystal - you are, and will continue to be, missed.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
is "blendship" a real word?
The past year has been a very interesting (and somewhat) long one - many lessons learned, many things changed - and when I sit back and look at my life it makes me wonder what patterns I create, and how do I reinforce them?
As someone who is very lucky to know many good people, I wonder - what is it that really makes someone a friend? Not just Sally who you turn to and say hello-how-are-you-today in class, but Sally who you call to get some lunch, Sally who you call in the middle of the night when your boyfriend dumps you, Sally who joins you in your wedding party.
What is it we do that makes that leap? And at any point do things become too one-sided?
Lately I feel as though I am often being taken advantage of as a good friend - but if I am feeling this way often, is it because I am choosing the wrong people to have as friends, or have I become paranoid that the same intense need on my point would not be reciprocated if I needed it?
If I am always putting out what I perceive as fires, is it because I attract people around me with that much drama or is it because I am perpetuating a "fire" by assuming that someone is mad at me? And if I am assuming that someone is mad at me, isn't that still making it about me? Or do I really do that much wrong to people I feel I am close to?
Personal neuroticism and paranoia aside, I had never really felt this way before about people or needing to help them prior to this year. I have always prided myself on making those around me happy and being there when they need me. So why this change now? Have I finally become that self-centered that I don't care? Have I finally gotten enough self-confidence that I know I don't need to bend over backwards all the time and people will still like me? Is this some kind of weird sub-conscious biological response to make me want to just find some ONE person to settle down with the rest of my life - although would I then repeat my patterns with just them? Or am I that jaded that I no longer trust that someone would be there for me?
Maybe I have just become mature enough to know that chasing after someone who is angry doesn't necessarily warrant a different outcome than waiting until later to talk about it. Is not caring about an other's state of being on behalf of your own a transgression on the boundaries of friendship? or is it just part of the natural ebb and flow of these relationships? Or have I become that cold-hearted in my old age?
Perhaps I've just become lazy enough to no longer need immediate resolution of uncomfortable situations. Like the back of a Volkswagen beetle.
As someone who is very lucky to know many good people, I wonder - what is it that really makes someone a friend? Not just Sally who you turn to and say hello-how-are-you-today in class, but Sally who you call to get some lunch, Sally who you call in the middle of the night when your boyfriend dumps you, Sally who joins you in your wedding party.
What is it we do that makes that leap? And at any point do things become too one-sided?
Lately I feel as though I am often being taken advantage of as a good friend - but if I am feeling this way often, is it because I am choosing the wrong people to have as friends, or have I become paranoid that the same intense need on my point would not be reciprocated if I needed it?
If I am always putting out what I perceive as fires, is it because I attract people around me with that much drama or is it because I am perpetuating a "fire" by assuming that someone is mad at me? And if I am assuming that someone is mad at me, isn't that still making it about me? Or do I really do that much wrong to people I feel I am close to?
Personal neuroticism and paranoia aside, I had never really felt this way before about people or needing to help them prior to this year. I have always prided myself on making those around me happy and being there when they need me. So why this change now? Have I finally become that self-centered that I don't care? Have I finally gotten enough self-confidence that I know I don't need to bend over backwards all the time and people will still like me? Is this some kind of weird sub-conscious biological response to make me want to just find some ONE person to settle down with the rest of my life - although would I then repeat my patterns with just them? Or am I that jaded that I no longer trust that someone would be there for me?
Maybe I have just become mature enough to know that chasing after someone who is angry doesn't necessarily warrant a different outcome than waiting until later to talk about it. Is not caring about an other's state of being on behalf of your own a transgression on the boundaries of friendship? or is it just part of the natural ebb and flow of these relationships? Or have I become that cold-hearted in my old age?
Perhaps I've just become lazy enough to no longer need immediate resolution of uncomfortable situations. Like the back of a Volkswagen beetle.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Even I can't figure out my deal!
I am worried I have a raging crush on someone who has a girlfriend. Now, while this may seem inconsequential to some, to me it is actually a really big deal. Nothing will ever happen from it, but it is certainly a new thing for me to actually like someone who I know is already preoccupied.
I rarely delve into this territory and so, to me, it spurs more questions; I don't know the girl - never met her - is that the difference?, how can I possibly like someone who I know it would never work with (or is that why I like them?), do I just find them a distraction - what is a crush anyway?
Either way, it is starting to get onto my conscious a bit. In the few times we have hung out and actually talked with meaning I have found myself flirting with him (ok. to the extent that someone in my position can or does) and have found him mentioning his girlfriend on two separate occasions. While I might not be able to control my feelings I can certainly control my actions, and would never do anything...but it is weird to feel this way especially since someone in a relationship is extreme off-limits for me.
Perhaps just more testing of the boundaries I have created for myself?
Perhaps just more testing of the boundaries I have created for myself?
Song of the Day: Get Low by Lil Jon
Thursday, August 7, 2008
First I need to make up my mind...
Lately I've been thinking about all the people I've ever known who I've been convinced that they are what I need to be complete; my other half, my better half, what I've been subconsciously looking for as I drift through life.
In each of these cases, something always happens that bursts that bubble - instances of variety and humility and humor and embarrassment that, while entertaining, don't need to be recounted at this time.
What I have been thinking about as of late - is, what if there is a me for me? What if people who I don't consider to be any more than friends think somehow, that I am actually the one to complete their lives? If they are anything like me, they will not ever tell me, not ever let on to it, not ever even say a word. But how am I to know?
Do guys really always need to be the one to make the first move? I have always assumed that no one would ever think of me that way because I have always assumed that it is the guy who should be approaching me when maybe it is less of a chasing issue and more of a mutual approaching of one and other?
Monday, July 28, 2008
wanting new clothes but not wanting to be emperor
They say the possessions you keep and surround yourself with say a lot about you...and if you have the tendency to excessively hold on to things [guilty as charged] that you are actually holding on to your past life and not living in the present. That you will continue to be who you were rather than who you are, and more importantly, who you want to be.
At what point does an object stop being an object and instead become a memory, or a feeling, or a smile, or a wistful dream?
As someone who has been thinking about these things a lot lately, I have recently decided that maybe one of the best things I could do is to really get rid of everything. I mean everything. Granted, this is somewhat of an expensive proposition, and undoubtedly will not come to complete fruition...but for the first time I can remember (and I have moved quite a bit), the idea of getting rid of the majority of my stuff seems very freeing, and makes me very excited.
What is stuff really? There are items of necessity - like clothing. There are items of luxury - like jewelry. There are items of convenience - like sporting equipment. [if you're going to do something repeatedly it makes sense to be prepared]
At what point does it become more convenient to just re-purchase things rather than lug them with you everywhere? And is it really just that price point that matters, or is it the attachment to them on a deeper level that matters more?
I don't think it is possible to pare down possessions for the long haul to just a bag or two...but I know when I lived in Europe for a semester I went with two bags and I seemed to do just fine. Accumulating new things has never been difficult...it is getting rid of those memories that seems to be holding me back from being who I want to be rather than who I was.
"Be the change you want to see in the world" -Ghandi [I think this is applicable even on a smaller scale to your own life...be the person you want to become]
"Twice you burned your life's work. Once to start a new life, and once just to start a fire" -The Long Winters
Song of the Day: New Girl - the Long Winters
At what point does an object stop being an object and instead become a memory, or a feeling, or a smile, or a wistful dream?
As someone who has been thinking about these things a lot lately, I have recently decided that maybe one of the best things I could do is to really get rid of everything. I mean everything. Granted, this is somewhat of an expensive proposition, and undoubtedly will not come to complete fruition...but for the first time I can remember (and I have moved quite a bit), the idea of getting rid of the majority of my stuff seems very freeing, and makes me very excited.
What is stuff really? There are items of necessity - like clothing. There are items of luxury - like jewelry. There are items of convenience - like sporting equipment. [if you're going to do something repeatedly it makes sense to be prepared]
At what point does it become more convenient to just re-purchase things rather than lug them with you everywhere? And is it really just that price point that matters, or is it the attachment to them on a deeper level that matters more?
I don't think it is possible to pare down possessions for the long haul to just a bag or two...but I know when I lived in Europe for a semester I went with two bags and I seemed to do just fine. Accumulating new things has never been difficult...it is getting rid of those memories that seems to be holding me back from being who I want to be rather than who I was.
"Be the change you want to see in the world" -Ghandi [I think this is applicable even on a smaller scale to your own life...be the person you want to become]
"Twice you burned your life's work. Once to start a new life, and once just to start a fire" -The Long Winters
Song of the Day: New Girl - the Long Winters
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